No Shave November

Today is November 3rd, or as you may know it, the third day of November. I reiterate that statement, because everyone who doesn't suck knows the importance of this day. November is hands down the most important month of the year, not only because it is 9 months away from my birthday, but it is also because it is the month that distinguishes the men from the boys. The third of November is a very crucial day in the quest for No Shave superiority, because it is the day in which definition really starts to show, and the competition is revealed. For those of you with keen minds, who realize that that's mostly bullshit, and I just made that up for an intro, props to you.

Last year I unilaterally made the decision that on November 30th of every year I would decide between the people I respect and the people I don't. There are no other factors that weigh into my decision. The three main categories of my judgement are as follows: Amount of facial hair, voracity of facial hair, and sickness of facial hair. That's it. Quite frankly, I don't care how big your dick is, if you aren't rocking mad facial flow come November 30th, then you don't have my love. Sorry I'm not sorry.

For those of you bastards calling me a cheater for taking a two-week head start in to November I have three words for you: Fuck your face. Show me a rulebook. I'm here to win. And by win, I mean have the grossest, dirtiest, looking amount of pubic hair on my face that I can look down upon you non-facial hair having losers, and judge you. That's right, you are about to be judged. I don't care how nasty it looks, I will look at myself with nothing but pride and admiration, while I look at you with pure disdain, and hatred in my heart.

As for other issues with No Shave November, I would like to bring up the topic of Movember. Movember is an idea promoted by Club Trill that is basically the same idea, but with only mustaches. And for charity,or something. And while I love trash-staches as much as the next minority (in case you were unaware, that's a lot) I am disgusted by the idea of not utilizing this period to have a full beard. To be frank, I feel my beard-growing feats are more important than the needy. No offense. (I may or may not being sarcastic). Anyways, I am not following Movember, partially because I now consider Club Trill a rival blog.

Finally, I want to bring up the topic of girls taking part in the glorious events of this month. I am all for more people joining in, but females cross the line. They can do it, but I, and every other male, find it horrendous, It is gross and appalling. Just stop. This is the last I will talk about it because I now refuse to acknowledge what I consider feminist bullshit (looking at you Beyonce). Anywho, I wish you luck on your journey of facial hair, and I hope you can compete with me and/or earn my respect. Spoiler: You won't.

Take it sleazy,
Raúl